Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Reserved or Outgoing Children?

This topic came up in my "mommy group".... "Would you prefer your child be reserved or outgoing?"

I thought that this was a very interesting topic. I have one of each. My son is VERY outgoing, but my daughter is very reserved. My husband and I are very reserved until we are comfortable in a setting or group, as well. For me, I enjoy the uniqueness of  their personalities. I think making sure that they are able to survive in the world around them is very important, but making sure that they don't lose who they are is important as well. God gives all of us our own distinct personalities and we should embrace it. I remember my parents doing everything to shake my quietness and my shyness, but with no success. Now that I am an adult, I would not change it for the world. Yes, maybe I am quiet and reserved, but it also gives me time to OBSERVE. I watch people, I watch my surroundings, and I am able to discern a lot. I can make friends and make people feel warm, but I am careful of who I allow in my circle. I like that I don't have to say much or do much to get people to like me. Usually, after a few minutes in a new setting, I walk away with a new friend. I love this about my daughter. She watches and she takes everything in and when she feels safe, she opens herself up. My son on the other hand, will just walk up to you and start a conversation. I love this about my son, because he makes those around him feel comfortable. My son will make you smile just from being in his presence. He is a leader and draws people to him with his strong personality. With my daughter, you have to earn her trust, but once you do....she can be herself.

I think the wonderful thing about being a parent is being able to see the differences in your children, to love each unique quality that they possess, and being able to love them equally. I remember when I was expecting my daughter, not being able to figure out how I would be able to love anyone else as much as I loved my son. Once she was born, I didn't have to figure it out....it just happened. My heart seemed to grow another chamber that filled with an equal amount of love. As they grow, I fall more in love with them, because I am able to see their personalities, their weaknesses, their gifts, and talents.

So, my answer to that question was...I love having both. I would not change them for the world. It makes them who they are and why on Earth would I ever want anything different?